Bad Hair Day

I could go on and on about this, but I'll keep it mercifully brief. Today I paid ALOT of money for a bad perm. I know, perms are sooo 80's, but it was just a body wave. I am desperate to find something that will give my hair life and body. my hair is very fine and very straight, but I have sooo much of it. I look like a homeless person because I am not willing to spend more than 2 minutes on my hair. I mean, c'mon, I don't even wear make-up half the time.

So I thought I was getting body and life, but I got squigglies. Exactly what I did not want. Will I never learn? Perm = bad. Insert expletive here, repeat.

D talked me into posting more of my my crappy knitting, so here it is. My first experience with circular needles. It will eventually be a cowl. it has so many holes in it I have dubbed it the Spider Web. I figured out why I was dropping so many stitches and theoretically, I won't do it on my next circ project. I've already clocked in about 8 hours on this little lovely and it's not even half finished. Knitting is not for those who require instant gratification. And yet, I knit.

Another egg was in my yard today! It is very small. I don't know what kind of creature it belongs to, but we saw a mama dove protecting a baby dove on the ground in our bushes the other day.

Aaaaaand I rode my recumbent bike for 30 minutes today, even though I still feel yucky and really did not want to. Yea me!

Seriously, though

Dear guy at the nail salon,

Unlike some women, I do not enjoy having my nails done. I hate everything about the experience, except the results. Let me make clear some issues I have with you and your colleagues.

First, get some ventilation in there. With all the chemicals wafting around, I almost get high, and not in a good way.
Second, either you do not realize or do not care that it really hurts alot when you file my skin vigorously. Stick to the nail; the goal is not to make me bleed.
Furthermore, how dare you get irritated with me because I can't understand a friggin' word you're saying. You don't even speak intelligible English when your mouth isn't covered by a mask. (And if the stuff you're trying to keep out of your mouth and nose is so bad, shouldn't I have a mask as well?) Would it hurt to look me in the face when you're mumbling so I can at least try to read your lips? Even if you spoke actual English I wouldn't want to make small talk. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to have faux nails put on because my nails are as thin and weak as that fancy little square of paper you put in wedding invitations.
If I wanted 10 inch nails with 'artwork' on them I would have told you when I sat down. So no, I do not want that crap. Ever.

I am so dissatisfied with your establishment that I am considering going to a 'real' nail salon and paying more than $17 for a fill-in. When I decide that paying more money than I have to is appealing, it's serious.

Sincerely,
Mother of Purl

Southernism of the Day

Drawers

Function: noun
Synonyms: underwear, panties, briefs; occasionally pants

Example: My friend's mom used to tell us before we went on a road trip, "Be sure to wear clean drawers in case you get in an accident."

"Jim wears suspenders 'cuz his butt's too flat to hold up his drawers."

Help, I'm blogging and I can't shut up!

I have some allergy issues and I'm being a total baby about it. I just had a sinus infection 6 weeks ago, migraines from hell, just finished a round of antibiotics for a UTI, now I have every syptom on the Nyquil commercial. It sucks because I haven't had allergy problems until recently. I got headaches, but not the hay fever mess. But now I do.



I just got back from spending a small fortune at CVS. The cashier checked my I.D. I bought so much cold medicine and vitamins she thought I was going to make meth with the stuff. The fact that I was sniffing like like a coke head and dripping from two orifices in my face with swollen eyeballs and breathing through my mouth must have made her think I was a junkie rather than an allergy sufferer.



While I was buying every immune system booster I could find, I noticed the display for Alli. for those of you have no trouble bending over to tie your shoes, let me break it down for you. It's the new diet wonder pill that's been approved by the FDA to block fat absorption. It sounds great until you read the fine print. I was considering taking these pills until I saw on their website that adverse effects include "oily discharge". They also recommend taking a change of underwear and wearing dark colored pants while takingit. They can't fool me! That's just a fancy way of saying you will lose control of your sphincter muscle, which will produce racing stripes in your drawers. I don't need to pay big money for that, I can just eat at Captain D's and get the same effect. That is a serious drawback, folks. Click HERE for a related video at Youtube!


I took some shots of some of my four-legged neices and nephew this weekend. Personally, I think they're all supermodels, but I am biased.

Southernism of the Day

Right

Function: adverb

very; To give emphasis to an adjective or other adverb that can be graded

Example: "That was right nice of you to hold the door open for that old lady."

or

"Come look at this right quick."

Ramblings

I would just like to say I LOVE the kooky Sonic and Geico commercials. Who's with me?



And on the Fiber Front...

I have completed the practice cowl and have begun the actual cowl. This is my first time using circular needles and it's awesome. It's so fast! I think I love it. I have learned that it is important to keep the needles in the same position so you don't get two different stitches on the right side of the fabric. I put a dot of nail polish on the top of my left needle to keep me straight. Perhaps someday soon I'll have a nice photo to show you. Gotta tell ya', though, I feel like an idiot posting my stuff when there are sooo many true artists out there. I check out fiber arts blogs all the time and there's so much out there that's actually worth looking at. Then I remind myself that this is for me and my loved ones primarily and it's good to journal my hobbies. Ah well...good knitters need to have a laugh now and then, right?


Dear Lord could it be any hotter down here in Dixie? Wait - it can get hotter, since it's only the first of August. The older I get the more sensitive I become to such unpleasantness.

Work Stuff

I learned today that as of October 1, I will be promoted to the head of my section. Woo-hoo! No one is certain whether there will be any money for a raise (ah, bureaucracy) but it will look good on my resume. More responsibility! Yea! I'll even be supervising people, and if you know me in person, you're probably in hysterics right now. Me, a boss?! That's a hoot.

Mwahahahahahahaha!

I hope I don't have to tell someone to work on their personal hygiene or something equally uncomfortable. Nah, I know these folks and they're cool. They don't need actual supervision, they do their jobs well. Thank goodness!