Ramble On (not the Zeppelin song, either)

I just finished my second paper due in Sociological Theory class. And for those of you still scratching your heads, that last post was a quote from somebodyorother who studied the Australian aboriginies in the 1800's. I don't get it either.

I already feel smarter. I have even found myself initiating sociological debates with people. My poor husband. All he wanted to know is why it took so long in Wal Mart.

I attempted to make curtain-type valance thingies for my dining room this weekend but it ended in total failure. I ended up going to JC Penney and buying some instead. Much better! And faster, too. Now I have to figure out how to hang them. Martha Stewart, eat your heart out!

Still not knitting or weaving, am experiencing withdrawals. Sewing instead but gaping hole is not filled. Must remedy this. In the meantime, here's another Natalie Dee cartoon for ya'.

And because I don't have enough irons in the fire I am thinking about making some items for my living history attire. The big event is coming up in November and if I start NOW I might be able to produce a skirt. Yeah, that's how I roll. I have an outfit now, largely in part thanks to my friend SH who has given me some hand-me-downs and I've purchased a few pieces as well. My as yet fully undeveloped persona is of a French marine's widow who has now "taken up" with an Indian fellow. Oh, I guess y'all need some background. Thought I'd done this already.

As part of my job, and partly because I dig it (no pun intended) I participate in a living history event every November and sometimes in the Spring. We teach folks about life on the Alabama frontier from about 1717 to 1760, with some 1812 American military stuff as well. The French were here at an outpost so we reenact the French military community and of course, there are also Indians. Because I am pale and blonde, I don't get to be an Indian. that's cool, because I get to be a French woman. No high society here on the frontier, so I look more like this:

Must go look for patterns now.

Chew on This

Though he may be essentially Wartwat and partially Moiwiluk, the Wotjobaluk described by Howitt is above all a Krokitch or a Gamutch.

Try to keep up.

I Think I Sprained My Brain

And now for the whining portion of this blog...

You know how sad it is when old, thirtysomethings try to do cheerleading moves from high school? Or even a simple cartwheel? And they can't really do it 'cuz they're inflexible and, well, old, and they end up spraining something?

Yeah, that's how my old, thirtysomething brain feels right now. Sprained as a result of disuse and sudden reuse. I've only endured two classes of graduate school and already it hurts. It's been a decade since I was a student and I am soooo feeling it. I pray that it's something I'll get used to, like wearing headgear. Only I never did.

Just finished a small portion of this week's reading: Lemert's Social Theory. Y'all, I've only made it through the introduction and already I need an interpreter. I grasp most of what ol' boy's saying, but he uses more commas and semicolons than I do! Behold the interjections and side notes! Speak plainly, man. HOW IS THIS RELEVANT TO MY LIFE???? Oh, that's right - archaeology is a subfield of anthropology which is a subfield of sociology. That's how. I must say, however, that in the six years I've worked as a real, professional archaeologist I've never used this crap. Yes, I know why I need to learn it, but I don't have to like it.

Anyhoo, I just wanted to whine a bit and lament that there are no Ace bandages for the gray matter. Pity. Wait - I think it's bleeding now. What about a Band-Aid?

It's Really NOT My Fault!

I would like to apologize in advance for today's rambling entry.


Have I mentioned how bloody HOT it is in Alabama? Because for any of you who don't live in the South, I'm not sure you can fully grasp the severity of the heat. It was 99 degrees today and it felt significantly better than last week. I am moving to Wyoming, where snow is on the ground in June.

Here I was thinking that maybe these extra 20 lbs. I'm totin' around were making me sweat like a whore in church all the time. But today I discovered that it not my fault! It's the medication I'm taking that's to blame. I went to a chat site-thingy where people who take this drug go to discuss it and lo, and behold, everyone complained about how much weight they've gained and the night sweats and the general profuse perspiration they've experienced while taking this medication. Ha! I'm taking Effexor, an anti-depressant. I've been on it less than a year, but have made the decision to wean myself off. I will probably beg my doctor to put me on another one at some point, but Effexor is off my list. I also know that it is difficult to get off of, and many people have severe withdrawals. Vomiting has to be preferable to what I'm going through now. And maybe, just maybe I can shed a few lbs. At least I know it's not menopause.

I took some photographs this weekend and would like to share some with you. At least that's one hobby I can keep up with. D-oh!

I also photographed my two nephews: the two legged one (the ghost) and the four-legged one.

I feel like I should go to Fiber Arts Unemployment Office or something.

"Did you knit or weave this week?"


"No."


"Did you attempt to knit or weave this week?"


"Yes."


"Okay, here's your check, see me in a week."


What did I do instead of fiber arts? Well, I read a-lot and wrote a summary of Mills' Sociological Imagination in the context of Durkheimian theory. How you like them apples?

Halloween countdown: only 70 days left! Woo-hoo!
My fabulous sister has already bought fake blood and floating eyeballs and such for our 2nd annual Halloween party! ROCK!

Higher Education

Sweet Mary Mother of Mercy

I just got home from my first graduate class and already I want to cry. It's not that the subject matter is beyond my comprehension. There's just so much to do. For Tuesday's class I have to read about 100 pages and write a 3 page summary to turned in by Monday. Sure. I have nothing else to do. Damn you people! I work for a living! I have family and social obligations! I hate Karl Marx!

I sure made a great first impression on my instructor. I foolishly thought my Sociology class would be in the sociology department. Silly me, I should have known it would be in the friggin' nursing building. Of course! When I finally found someone to tell me where to go I had to hike across campus (naturally) in the 98 degree heat and walk into class late. I was sweating like a whore in church and panting as only the shoe-tying-impaired do. I kept fanning myself with the syllabus and she stopped class to close the window. When I got up at the end of class my chair was wet with perspiration. My God, I sweat through denim?! There was a girl in the elevator with me (in the first building I went in, because the nursing building's elevator was out of order. Did I mention class was on the top floor?) twice my size and she wasn't glistening at all.

I fear I shall ne'er weave or knit again.

Southernism of the Day

Supper

Function: noun

meaning: evening meal

It's what we eat while Yankees are eating dinner.

I would just like to make note here that I am not using the word Yankee pejoratively. It is simply an identifier referring to someone born and raised north of the Mason-Dixon line. People from Mexico are Mexicans, folks from Japan are Japanese, and those in the states not from the South are Yankees. Simple as that. Besides, my stepdaddy is a Yankee from Wisconsin and I love him and his family somethin' fierce.

Superstitions

Are you superstitious?

I admit, I am at times. Although I am an educated woman, I occasionally find myself knocking on wood, stepping over cracks in the sidewalk, tying not to jinx myself, etc. My biggie, though, is more personal. When I was fifteen my best friend and I were in an automobile accident that left her banged up and left me in a hospital bed for six weeks. The song playing on the radio when we were hit was "Hotel California". I later learned that two other friends of mine had a car accident while listening to that song. Ever since then, if I hear that song in the car I immediately change the station. This happened yesterday on my way to graduate orientation. Of course, I nearly ran off the road trying to change the station. (Bev, you know what I'm talking about!)

So do any of y'all have superstitions that you can't seem to give up?


So I was on campus yesterday for orientation and it was a colossal waste of time. But I did get my student ID made and got a measles shot. I hear there are all kinds of discounts available to college students around here so I plan to scout that out soon. I only know of places like quickie oil change joints, maybe movie tickets and some fitness centers. I really hope there are some food-related discounts, though. 'Cuz really, that's my favorite thing.

On my way home I passed a dead dove on the sidewalk. No blood, no injury, just dead. I started to report it but wasn't sure who I should call. The health department? I mean, this could be evidence of bird flu or something. My hypothesis is that he had a freakin' heat stroke and just fell out of the tree. It was 102 yesterday. GODZILLA when will the unnatural heat end?!

Hades is upon us

Oh...my...God! It is so *%$#! hot down here in Dixie. Today's forecast is 104 with a heat index of 111. No one wants to go outside for any reason, for any amount of time. The local humane shelter says there are several pet deaths every day from stupid people leaving them outside. My power bill will probably be a gazillion dollars this month. And I'll be glad to pay it, too. I've lived in Alabama my entire 32 years and don't remember it being quite this miserable.

But, Mr. Bush, in all his 'wisdom', insists global warming is a myth.

Now, I'm not saying this recent warming trend is solely the result of pollution and our misuse of Mother Earth. The planet regularly has warming periods and cooling periods. I do think, though, that we've hastened it with our lack of respect for Creation. People can be so selfish. Myself included.

I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority.

E. B. White

US author & humorist (1899 - 1985)

Want some cheese with that wine? No, seriously.

My good friend and colleague SH took me to a wine tasting event after work today. I had never been to such a foo-foo deal before. Since this is Podunk, AL (and I mean that in a nice way) there were only a few people who knew what they were doing for real. Swirling the wine in their glass, taking in the aroma, yadda yadda. SH and I were just downing it and not even spitting it out. C'mon, I paid $5 bucks for this, I'm darn sure gonna ingest it, right? It really was cool, and I ended up with a bottle of Riesling that I truly enjoy. Not bad for a Thursday afternoon. At first I felt like Country-Come-To-Town but after a few minutes I got over myself. I know what I'll be doing next Thursday, especially since that's the first day of grad school. Wine makes everything better!

Bad Hair Day

I could go on and on about this, but I'll keep it mercifully brief. Today I paid ALOT of money for a bad perm. I know, perms are sooo 80's, but it was just a body wave. I am desperate to find something that will give my hair life and body. my hair is very fine and very straight, but I have sooo much of it. I look like a homeless person because I am not willing to spend more than 2 minutes on my hair. I mean, c'mon, I don't even wear make-up half the time.

So I thought I was getting body and life, but I got squigglies. Exactly what I did not want. Will I never learn? Perm = bad. Insert expletive here, repeat.

D talked me into posting more of my my crappy knitting, so here it is. My first experience with circular needles. It will eventually be a cowl. it has so many holes in it I have dubbed it the Spider Web. I figured out why I was dropping so many stitches and theoretically, I won't do it on my next circ project. I've already clocked in about 8 hours on this little lovely and it's not even half finished. Knitting is not for those who require instant gratification. And yet, I knit.

Another egg was in my yard today! It is very small. I don't know what kind of creature it belongs to, but we saw a mama dove protecting a baby dove on the ground in our bushes the other day.

Aaaaaand I rode my recumbent bike for 30 minutes today, even though I still feel yucky and really did not want to. Yea me!

Seriously, though

Dear guy at the nail salon,

Unlike some women, I do not enjoy having my nails done. I hate everything about the experience, except the results. Let me make clear some issues I have with you and your colleagues.

First, get some ventilation in there. With all the chemicals wafting around, I almost get high, and not in a good way.
Second, either you do not realize or do not care that it really hurts alot when you file my skin vigorously. Stick to the nail; the goal is not to make me bleed.
Furthermore, how dare you get irritated with me because I can't understand a friggin' word you're saying. You don't even speak intelligible English when your mouth isn't covered by a mask. (And if the stuff you're trying to keep out of your mouth and nose is so bad, shouldn't I have a mask as well?) Would it hurt to look me in the face when you're mumbling so I can at least try to read your lips? Even if you spoke actual English I wouldn't want to make small talk. I'm not there to make friends, I'm there to have faux nails put on because my nails are as thin and weak as that fancy little square of paper you put in wedding invitations.
If I wanted 10 inch nails with 'artwork' on them I would have told you when I sat down. So no, I do not want that crap. Ever.

I am so dissatisfied with your establishment that I am considering going to a 'real' nail salon and paying more than $17 for a fill-in. When I decide that paying more money than I have to is appealing, it's serious.

Sincerely,
Mother of Purl

Southernism of the Day

Drawers

Function: noun
Synonyms: underwear, panties, briefs; occasionally pants

Example: My friend's mom used to tell us before we went on a road trip, "Be sure to wear clean drawers in case you get in an accident."

"Jim wears suspenders 'cuz his butt's too flat to hold up his drawers."

Help, I'm blogging and I can't shut up!

I have some allergy issues and I'm being a total baby about it. I just had a sinus infection 6 weeks ago, migraines from hell, just finished a round of antibiotics for a UTI, now I have every syptom on the Nyquil commercial. It sucks because I haven't had allergy problems until recently. I got headaches, but not the hay fever mess. But now I do.



I just got back from spending a small fortune at CVS. The cashier checked my I.D. I bought so much cold medicine and vitamins she thought I was going to make meth with the stuff. The fact that I was sniffing like like a coke head and dripping from two orifices in my face with swollen eyeballs and breathing through my mouth must have made her think I was a junkie rather than an allergy sufferer.



While I was buying every immune system booster I could find, I noticed the display for Alli. for those of you have no trouble bending over to tie your shoes, let me break it down for you. It's the new diet wonder pill that's been approved by the FDA to block fat absorption. It sounds great until you read the fine print. I was considering taking these pills until I saw on their website that adverse effects include "oily discharge". They also recommend taking a change of underwear and wearing dark colored pants while takingit. They can't fool me! That's just a fancy way of saying you will lose control of your sphincter muscle, which will produce racing stripes in your drawers. I don't need to pay big money for that, I can just eat at Captain D's and get the same effect. That is a serious drawback, folks. Click HERE for a related video at Youtube!


I took some shots of some of my four-legged neices and nephew this weekend. Personally, I think they're all supermodels, but I am biased.

Southernism of the Day

Right

Function: adverb

very; To give emphasis to an adjective or other adverb that can be graded

Example: "That was right nice of you to hold the door open for that old lady."

or

"Come look at this right quick."

Ramblings

I would just like to say I LOVE the kooky Sonic and Geico commercials. Who's with me?



And on the Fiber Front...

I have completed the practice cowl and have begun the actual cowl. This is my first time using circular needles and it's awesome. It's so fast! I think I love it. I have learned that it is important to keep the needles in the same position so you don't get two different stitches on the right side of the fabric. I put a dot of nail polish on the top of my left needle to keep me straight. Perhaps someday soon I'll have a nice photo to show you. Gotta tell ya', though, I feel like an idiot posting my stuff when there are sooo many true artists out there. I check out fiber arts blogs all the time and there's so much out there that's actually worth looking at. Then I remind myself that this is for me and my loved ones primarily and it's good to journal my hobbies. Ah well...good knitters need to have a laugh now and then, right?


Dear Lord could it be any hotter down here in Dixie? Wait - it can get hotter, since it's only the first of August. The older I get the more sensitive I become to such unpleasantness.

Work Stuff

I learned today that as of October 1, I will be promoted to the head of my section. Woo-hoo! No one is certain whether there will be any money for a raise (ah, bureaucracy) but it will look good on my resume. More responsibility! Yea! I'll even be supervising people, and if you know me in person, you're probably in hysterics right now. Me, a boss?! That's a hoot.

Mwahahahahahahaha!

I hope I don't have to tell someone to work on their personal hygiene or something equally uncomfortable. Nah, I know these folks and they're cool. They don't need actual supervision, they do their jobs well. Thank goodness!