It's Really NOT My Fault!

I would like to apologize in advance for today's rambling entry.


Have I mentioned how bloody HOT it is in Alabama? Because for any of you who don't live in the South, I'm not sure you can fully grasp the severity of the heat. It was 99 degrees today and it felt significantly better than last week. I am moving to Wyoming, where snow is on the ground in June.

Here I was thinking that maybe these extra 20 lbs. I'm totin' around were making me sweat like a whore in church all the time. But today I discovered that it not my fault! It's the medication I'm taking that's to blame. I went to a chat site-thingy where people who take this drug go to discuss it and lo, and behold, everyone complained about how much weight they've gained and the night sweats and the general profuse perspiration they've experienced while taking this medication. Ha! I'm taking Effexor, an anti-depressant. I've been on it less than a year, but have made the decision to wean myself off. I will probably beg my doctor to put me on another one at some point, but Effexor is off my list. I also know that it is difficult to get off of, and many people have severe withdrawals. Vomiting has to be preferable to what I'm going through now. And maybe, just maybe I can shed a few lbs. At least I know it's not menopause.

I took some photographs this weekend and would like to share some with you. At least that's one hobby I can keep up with. D-oh!

I also photographed my two nephews: the two legged one (the ghost) and the four-legged one.

I feel like I should go to Fiber Arts Unemployment Office or something.

"Did you knit or weave this week?"


"No."


"Did you attempt to knit or weave this week?"


"Yes."


"Okay, here's your check, see me in a week."


What did I do instead of fiber arts? Well, I read a-lot and wrote a summary of Mills' Sociological Imagination in the context of Durkheimian theory. How you like them apples?

Halloween countdown: only 70 days left! Woo-hoo!
My fabulous sister has already bought fake blood and floating eyeballs and such for our 2nd annual Halloween party! ROCK!

Help with some HTML issues

Okay, I am kinda computer stupid, which may be obvious to many of you. So riddle me this: why is there no image on my Weavering or Fiber Arts Bloggers windows on the right-hand side of the page? It looks weird without them. I pasted the html code thingy just like I was instructed but it didn't do right. Help!

Once again I am bemoaning the fact that I must waste my days in an office rather than producing stunning fiber arts projects. I could get alot of knitting, weaving and sewing accomplished in 40 hours per week. I have lots of leave time accrued, so maybe I should take a few days off to do nothing but releasing my creativity with fiber. Now there's a thought... Would it count as sick leave instead since I have fiber fever?

At this moment I am jonesing for an Ashford 32" rigid heddle loom. I have toyed with this idea for months now and have finally decided that my life will not be complete without one. It would be perfect for the kind of weaving I want to do. It's only money. But should I buy it before or after I buy a macro lens for my camera? If I could only learn to produce gold coins at will like a female Criss Angel.

I Give You...the Green Trapezoid

Even with a broken needle I managed to produce a finished project. It started out as a rectangle in garter stitch, but ended up a trapezoid since it only has 2 right angles. Could someone please tell me how I manage to add stitches?????? I don't even know how to increase yet!

Now I freely admit I was watching the movie Apocalypto about halfway through the process and that's when things started to go awry. Great movie, I loved it, but it is stressful and that is reflected in my knitting. I suppose if I actually stop knitting while watching T.V. I'll have no excuse for not being good at this! But hey, I can wash dishes with a trapezoid, I'm not particular. By the way, put the metal needles there for a scale just so you could see how small my dish rag is. This must be a hoot for all you experienced knitters out there! Do you even remember being so unskilled? Maybe most folks are better the first time, I don't know. I will keep trying. I had an epiphany the other day. As much as I'd love to have beautiful sweaters and baby stuff to show for my efforts, it's really more about the process. I love the rhythm of knitting. Knitting is relaxing for me. If I never make anything other than a dish rag, that's okay with me. Knitting provides enjoyment and I'll take it where I can get it.

In other fiber art news, I made a Peruvian flat braid today on my lunch hour. I have wanted to learn finger weaving for quite a while, and I thought I'd begin with a simple one. I hope to one day make sashes and garters for living history demonstrations. This doesn't count as a new hobby because it IS weaving, after all. I'll post photos later since I'm having severe technical difficulties right now. Dadblasted computers. Expletive, expletive, expletive!!!!!!!!

Retraction

I would like to retract an earlier statement in which I claimed to be a crocheter. That claim was made prematurely and has proved to be inaccurate. When I got to the end of the first row of (uneven) stitches I couldn't turn around. Just could not figure out the instructions for how to do it. So I only have four hobbies. I'll put off learning crochet until I can knit without dropping stitches. Lord only knows how long that'll take.

On the upside, I wore my skirt to work today and I got alot of compliments on it. Cladee even bought some fabric so I can make her one too. Can you believe it? WOW

Stitchin' Status

I spent some time today with yarn, needles and hook. Here is what I've learned.

1. Despite my numerous declarations to the contrary, I CANNOT knit , weave or crochet while watching a movie.
2. Cladee lied when she said crochet was easier than knitting. Guess she just wanted to screw with me.
3. When I get to the end of a row of stitches, whether knitting or crocheting, I spaz out and FROG (unravel it all) like a madwoman.
4. Using variegated yarn is beneficial when learning to knit or crochet.
5. Patience really IS a virtue.
6. I have (just about) mastered the purl stitch.
7. Knitting and crochet is not very easy to learn from a book with two dimensional figures. Maybe they should print these instructions so you can use 3-D glasses to read them. Then the picture of the hook and yarn would ACTUALLY MAKE SOME SENSE.

I did not get around to trying out the sewing patterns, but there's always tomorrow. I got sidetracked when I went out to run errands. And by sidetracked I mean there are sales galore at the mall Mama needs a new bra! Well, not anymore because my friends at JC Penney helped me with that. I really shouldn't get so excited when I purchase a bra and socks. But since we're on the subject, let me just tell you (if there are any men reading this, you may want to bypass this next part) that having - as one catalog so delicately put it - an over ample bust on a small frame is soooooo unfair. Underwire is your enemy and closest ally. I am now to the point that I'm buying bras in boxes. You know the ones that are in the cube o'drawers in the department stores? They don't even put them on racks with the rest of the bras because no one wants to see that. Oh yes, I'm talking about 18-Hour bras. Cotton, wide straps, seamless, no underwire and back straps about half a foot wide with three industrial strength hooks. And, oh! There's a bow in the middle to make it "pretty" and "feminine". How hot is that?! Grrrrr.......

Four down, one to go

Hooray for hobby #4! I'm a crocheter! Is that a word?


Cladee patiently taught me how to tie a slip knot, make cable stitches and double crochet stitches. I screwed it up and had to pull it out about 17 times but eventually I made something that resembled actual crochet. As with my knitting, I was all over it "angry-style" until I realized I couldn't get the hook through the really tight stitches. After relaxing and channeling my inner Brighid I improved somewhat. Thanks, Cladee!



Also, my local yarn shop is going out of business (bad) and is having a 50% off sale (good). I've never seen high dollar yarn before - and so much of it! I think I touched every hank, skein and cone in the store. I found some particularly soft and squishy yarn that I wanted to roll around naked in but I couldn't afford that much good yarn. Instead, I bought three skeins of Plymouth yarn Baby Alpaca Brush in a gorgeous copper/brown color. I have no clue as to what I will make out of it. Sound familiar? Should I knit it or crochet it? Should I weave it? Should i make a hat or a purse or a scarf or a big fat square?

I JUST DON'T KNOW!!

The problem with scarves, mittens and the like is that down here in the Deep South we have little need of such accessories. We knitters must think outside the box with regard to our creative endeavors. Now if I can just get the hang of sewing I will be a bona fide fiberartfreak! Don't hold your breath.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Once upon a time, my husband told me that he would like to see me get a hobby, something to keep me occupied and happy. While I had several interests, there was nothing I could claim as a hobby, per se. But as I told him last week,

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

I now have no less than 3 1/2 hobbies: photography, weaving and knitting. The half is made up of sewing and crocheting. The two combined don't equal a whole (yet!) because I haven't technically attempted them. But I own a new sewing machine (thank you, Sears!) and several crochet hooks (thank you, Cladee!) so that must mean they are also my new hobbies. I have "practiced sewn" a bit with an old cloth napkin. Sewing a straight line is much more difficult than one would assume, by the way. I bought a pattern for a purse and also one for a skirt. This weekend I hope to start on one of them and I assure you, I will photodocument each painful step of the way.

My yummy friend Cladee gave me several crochet hooks and some pretty, variegated yarn today. She left it all on my desk at work with a note that read "Get your crochet on." And I intend to. She is a gifted crocheter who has watched me suffer through trying to knit. I guess she decided that I need to start with something that requires only one implement that is not pointy. She insists that crochet is easier than knitting, so I will believe her and give it a shot. I eagerly await becoming a multi-fiber artist!

I thought knitting would be relaxing, but I only seem to be able to perform the "angry knitting" technique. My stitches are so tight they don't even move up and down the needle. Maybe I'm concentrating too hard. I'm sure that as I get better it will be more relaxing. I confess, I was inspired by Crazy Aunt Purl's blog. Crazy Aunt Purl

I stumbled upon it while browsing fiber arts/knitting blogs and now I'm completely addicted to it. That Crazy Aunt Purl is a hoot!

Hope to have some cool photos to show you after this weekend.

This cool cartoon can be found at Natalie Dee's awesome website.