One more thing...

I made my first order with Annie's Attic, a crochet and knitting catalog. I ordered a beginner's sock KIT, but what I got was only a pattern. No beginner-friendly advice or dumbing down, just a pattern. How can they call a pattern a KIT and how can they call your average knitting pattern a beginner's pattern?!

Has anyone else had a problem with Annie's Attic?

I can't be the only one...

So when I was in Birmingham the other day I parked at the big, Gothy Presbyterian Church downtown and noticed something that I thought was hilarious. I mean, really, it's a very cool coincidence.



I was feeding the parking meter when I noticed the next one down was blinking. I got closer and realized it was blinking "DEAD". Ok, so it's broken.



But then I walked a scooch down the sidewalk and saw some grafitti on a utility box:





















I mean, that's insane, right? Death, mort...get it? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I should throw away my T.V. because I entertain myself to no end.

Southernism of the Day

Come-to-Jesus Meeting

Now this Southernism is one of my favorites. This is used to describe a confrontation between folks who don't see eye to eye. I was reminded of it yesterday.

Example: "I had to have a come-to-Jesus meeting with my professor yesterday about her false
accusation."
or

"Once Jolene had a come-to-Jesus meeting with her boss, she got that raise she wanted."

Generally, the person who claims that such a meeting is necessary is the person who feels slighted. The person with whom he or she intends to have the meeting is usually unaware that such a meeting is necessary.

Randomocity

*sigh*

I'll spare you the gory details of this righteous indignation tale, but I had to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with my professor yesterday. I don't care what she says - she's wrong, I'm right, and I have lost respect for this woman. It will be difficult to remain in her class for the rest of the semester but such is life.

CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!

I have been planning (BUYING STUFF) for Halloween since July or August. I'm winding down now and am mostly figuring out where to put which decorations, how gross to make the kids' food - you know, boogers on a stick = pretzels and green dip, etc.

I have fantabulous plans for this bash so I hope everything goes like it should. It would be a shame if it bombed. Of course, we're providing free food and that's usually enough to be considered a good party. :)

Please, peruse my latest photos:

Things you Don't See Every Day, part 2

I love having a camera ready when I come across unusual sights. Which rarely happens, except for today! I have never seen such a cool mail box. The Postal Service can be un-nerdy! Oh, wait, they made a Star Wars reference. They're still nerdy. Too bad they're not cool like us Trekkies.


And while I don't understand this gimmick, it apparently worked. Put a truck on top of a trailer
right next to the interstate and people will notice...maybe stop into the lot and buy a mobile home.

Before I get kicked out of the fiber arts and knitting blog rings, let me give a moment to the sticks and string. I have actually knitted this past week. Just managed to add a couple inches to the ridiculously wide purple scarf (r.w.p.s) but man, it felt good. I even got in a little angry knitting on the cowl but I realized it's unsalvageable. Oh good, another practice knit. When do I get to start to make real, actual, usable things? Um, I guess after I practice enough to get decent at it. D-oh!

I can't remember the last time I used my inkle loom. *sigh*

Weaving Confessional, a drama in one act

Forgive me, for I have sinned. It has been, like, forever since my last confession.

What is your sin, my child?

I have neglected my inkle loom and only have time for work and reading the unimaginably dry writings of rich, dead white guys who thought they could solve the world's problems.

Do you wish to weave again?

Oh yes, very much. So very, very much.

Then you must quit your job, give up graduate school and sell your body to buy yarn and thread.

Gasp! NOooooo...

Fin

Southernism of the Day

Mosey

verb; to move in a leisurely, relaxed way; get going

Example: "I think I'll mosey on over to the fabric section while I'm in the Pit of Despair."
(See previous post for clarification.)

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

In the category of "You Don't See That Everyday", today in the Pit of Despair (Wal Mart) I saw a lady with a scarf over her head. That's not unusual, as I've seen plenty of women of different ethnicities sporting this headwear. But this was a stone-cold Caucasian, speaking Southern English. Then I noticed her companion: a skinny black guy with a purple goatee ala Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Not your typical Pit dwellers. I feel like a whore every time I go into Wal Mart, and yet I just keep going. Wal Mart is the Devil singing a beautiful siren's song. Sometimes I do go to other places like Target and CVS but they're only marginally better. I go to locally-owned hardware stores and really try to do the same for other needs, but "the little guy" is getting scarce. Because of Wal Mart. And I keep patronizing the Evil One. Appeal to my lazy side and you'll win every time.

Ain't she a pretty thing?

Went to Tuscumbia, AL for work this weekend. A portion of the Trail of Tears was dedicated and SH and I went to represent the man. I mean the state. Anyhoo, we went to Ivy Green, birthplace and childhood home of Helen Keller. It was great and I learned lots I didn't know about her. For instance:

• Helen Keller is on Alabama's state quarter (I knew this part), and is the only state quarter to feature a woman (I didn't know this part).



• She had an I.Q. of 160.




• She had a sister and a brother that no one hears about.




• They think the illness which caused her blindness and deafness may have been meningitis.




• She is a descendant of John Quincy Adams.

But the most important thing I learned, thanks to the tour guide repeating it over and over, is that Helen Keller was pretty. Or, as the tour guide said it, "Y'all wasn't she priiiiiity?"

[Insert FemiNazi rant here]

I mean really, all the things she accomplished wouldn't have amounted to much if she'd been homely. Because the real determination of a woman's worth is her looks, right? Geez, if I were that priiiiity I would never tell anyone I had an I.Q. of 160 because it might take away from the attraction.

In the name of God and all that is Holy, I thought we'd moved on, people. We're there to learn about an amazing person who changed the way the entire world thought about and treated the blind and deaf and the one thing this woman was truly proud of is the fact that Helen was attractive?!?! And she kept speaking unnecessarily loudly to a Japanese couple in our tour group like they were the deaf ones.

SH and I were talking on the way back and realized that the only reason Helen Keller got a degree, met heads of state and wrote over a dozen books is because she wasn't marriageable. I wonder if her family said, "Poor Helen, she can't get a husband, so I guess she'll have to console herself with learnin'." Maybe we never heard about her siblings because they weren't priiiiiity.

I love to take photos of interesting, random things on the side of the road or in everyday places. Unusual signs, three-legged dogs, that kind of thing. so I couldn't pass these up at one of our gas station stops on the way home.

Because everyone's favorite junk food pairing is pizza and cream. Yeah, if you're pregnant.

And my personal favorite:

A cardboard cut out of the Auburn coach bedecked in Bama attire. AWESOME.

Randomocity

Some stuff I realized this week:

There's nothing spookier than bad taxidermy.

Chocolate chip double doozie cookies are so good they're a sin.

Moon pies are right behind 'em.

Doctors don't know as much as they think they know.

Slip covers are a pain.

Migraines are products of the devil.

My neighbor's dog can't tell time.

If you have an aversion to people toching your toes, you shouldn't get a pedicure.

Dualism is live and well:

Airline sacrifices goat to appease sky god

Southernism of the Day

Lord A-mighty

This is an alternative pronunciation of "Lord Almighty". Somehow, removing the "L" in Almighty renders the phrase appropriate for everyday use. It's an interjection.

Example: "Lord A-mighty, Auburn liked ta' got beat by Kansas State!"

similar to Got-amightyknows! This is actually "God Almighty Knows"

Example: "Got-amightyknows, that Gerard Butler is some kind of fine!"

Now you try.

Life Aquatic trailer

Yadda Yadda Yadda

Not much to post today. I spent all of yesterday reading and preparing for a class presentation. Yea.


Saturday we went to a friend's house to eat a hog and watch Auburn just barely beat Kansas State. Kansas should have won, they played better. It makes no difference to this Bama fan. I told my very Auburn fan husband that it would suit me fine if Auburn were undefeated when we annihilate them in the Iron Bowl.

I also managed to put up the valances in the dining room. Now I just need to add the finishing touches and we're set for this phase. There's still MUCH to do.

Last night I added another movie to my all-time favorties list: The Life Aquatic with Bill Murray (see the post above for the trailer). Alot of folks don't seem to get this movie, but I loved it. It's in my top 10.

Which movies are in my top 10, you ask? Let me list them for you.

1. The Crow
2. 300
3. Dances with Wolves
4. Good Will Hunting
5. The Wizard of Oz
6. Shawshank Redemption
7. The Life Aquatic
8. Dracula (the one with Winona Rider)
9. Grease
10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Keep in mind that these aren't necessarily ranked as I've listed them. Because honestly, how can anyone claim to have "a favorite movie"? The movie in the number one slot at any given time usually reflects my mood and whatever phase I'm going through. I could easily argue that 300 is my favorite because I'm in an obsessive Gerard Butler phase right now. My God, is there a sexier man on Earth? The answer is no.

And so concludes today's ramblings.