Southernism of the Day

Mosey

verb; to move in a leisurely, relaxed way; get going

Example: "I think I'll mosey on over to the fabric section while I'm in the Pit of Despair."
(See previous post for clarification.)

Things That Make You Go Hmmm...

In the category of "You Don't See That Everyday", today in the Pit of Despair (Wal Mart) I saw a lady with a scarf over her head. That's not unusual, as I've seen plenty of women of different ethnicities sporting this headwear. But this was a stone-cold Caucasian, speaking Southern English. Then I noticed her companion: a skinny black guy with a purple goatee ala Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Not your typical Pit dwellers. I feel like a whore every time I go into Wal Mart, and yet I just keep going. Wal Mart is the Devil singing a beautiful siren's song. Sometimes I do go to other places like Target and CVS but they're only marginally better. I go to locally-owned hardware stores and really try to do the same for other needs, but "the little guy" is getting scarce. Because of Wal Mart. And I keep patronizing the Evil One. Appeal to my lazy side and you'll win every time.

Ain't she a pretty thing?

Went to Tuscumbia, AL for work this weekend. A portion of the Trail of Tears was dedicated and SH and I went to represent the man. I mean the state. Anyhoo, we went to Ivy Green, birthplace and childhood home of Helen Keller. It was great and I learned lots I didn't know about her. For instance:

• Helen Keller is on Alabama's state quarter (I knew this part), and is the only state quarter to feature a woman (I didn't know this part).



• She had an I.Q. of 160.




• She had a sister and a brother that no one hears about.




• They think the illness which caused her blindness and deafness may have been meningitis.




• She is a descendant of John Quincy Adams.

But the most important thing I learned, thanks to the tour guide repeating it over and over, is that Helen Keller was pretty. Or, as the tour guide said it, "Y'all wasn't she priiiiiity?"

[Insert FemiNazi rant here]

I mean really, all the things she accomplished wouldn't have amounted to much if she'd been homely. Because the real determination of a woman's worth is her looks, right? Geez, if I were that priiiiity I would never tell anyone I had an I.Q. of 160 because it might take away from the attraction.

In the name of God and all that is Holy, I thought we'd moved on, people. We're there to learn about an amazing person who changed the way the entire world thought about and treated the blind and deaf and the one thing this woman was truly proud of is the fact that Helen was attractive?!?! And she kept speaking unnecessarily loudly to a Japanese couple in our tour group like they were the deaf ones.

SH and I were talking on the way back and realized that the only reason Helen Keller got a degree, met heads of state and wrote over a dozen books is because she wasn't marriageable. I wonder if her family said, "Poor Helen, she can't get a husband, so I guess she'll have to console herself with learnin'." Maybe we never heard about her siblings because they weren't priiiiiity.

I love to take photos of interesting, random things on the side of the road or in everyday places. Unusual signs, three-legged dogs, that kind of thing. so I couldn't pass these up at one of our gas station stops on the way home.

Because everyone's favorite junk food pairing is pizza and cream. Yeah, if you're pregnant.

And my personal favorite:

A cardboard cut out of the Auburn coach bedecked in Bama attire. AWESOME.

Randomocity

Some stuff I realized this week:

There's nothing spookier than bad taxidermy.

Chocolate chip double doozie cookies are so good they're a sin.

Moon pies are right behind 'em.

Doctors don't know as much as they think they know.

Slip covers are a pain.

Migraines are products of the devil.

My neighbor's dog can't tell time.

If you have an aversion to people toching your toes, you shouldn't get a pedicure.

Dualism is live and well:

Airline sacrifices goat to appease sky god

Southernism of the Day

Lord A-mighty

This is an alternative pronunciation of "Lord Almighty". Somehow, removing the "L" in Almighty renders the phrase appropriate for everyday use. It's an interjection.

Example: "Lord A-mighty, Auburn liked ta' got beat by Kansas State!"

similar to Got-amightyknows! This is actually "God Almighty Knows"

Example: "Got-amightyknows, that Gerard Butler is some kind of fine!"

Now you try.

Life Aquatic trailer

Yadda Yadda Yadda

Not much to post today. I spent all of yesterday reading and preparing for a class presentation. Yea.


Saturday we went to a friend's house to eat a hog and watch Auburn just barely beat Kansas State. Kansas should have won, they played better. It makes no difference to this Bama fan. I told my very Auburn fan husband that it would suit me fine if Auburn were undefeated when we annihilate them in the Iron Bowl.

I also managed to put up the valances in the dining room. Now I just need to add the finishing touches and we're set for this phase. There's still MUCH to do.

Last night I added another movie to my all-time favorties list: The Life Aquatic with Bill Murray (see the post above for the trailer). Alot of folks don't seem to get this movie, but I loved it. It's in my top 10.

Which movies are in my top 10, you ask? Let me list them for you.

1. The Crow
2. 300
3. Dances with Wolves
4. Good Will Hunting
5. The Wizard of Oz
6. Shawshank Redemption
7. The Life Aquatic
8. Dracula (the one with Winona Rider)
9. Grease
10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Keep in mind that these aren't necessarily ranked as I've listed them. Because honestly, how can anyone claim to have "a favorite movie"? The movie in the number one slot at any given time usually reflects my mood and whatever phase I'm going through. I could easily argue that 300 is my favorite because I'm in an obsessive Gerard Butler phase right now. My God, is there a sexier man on Earth? The answer is no.

And so concludes today's ramblings.